Chain reaction

I'm at a point in my writing where I cannot take anything for granted. I'm too aware of the fact that creativity is not always this given, it can be elusive sometimes. I wasn't aware of that before, not for a long time anyway. I was so sure that being creative was just me, me, me, now suddenly I have to be creative. It's possibly a good thing to realise that this third eye isn't always there in the way that you would like it to be. It's possibly good so that I become more intimate with it. Although it's like having to understand how a chain reaction works. Maybe it's just too complicated, even when it felt easy before. I don't know.

I've also realised that some people and events really inspire me. I don't like being susceptible in this way, but perhaps that's how life is. There's nothing pure, intrinsic, real: it's all mediated by something else, and at some thresholds and watersheds in my life I'm going to have to find resources if my blood cools down.

I have to be open to new discoveries. This is one.